Bol and Bel are urban (and sometimes, urbane) creatures who live on a planet called SOM (short for the "Ship of Monkeys") populated by four distinct species -- Monkeys, Doggies, AEs (short for the "Arch Enemies") and Rwaonds (short for the "rest who are of non-doggie species). Bol is a beautiful, headstrong, worldly, unpredictable (of the "Captain Jack Sparrow" ilk, for "Pirates" fans), somewhat irresponsible, adult Doggie. Bel is a somewhat cloyingly sweet, overly curious, naive, gangly teen Doggie, who appears attractive in a certain light. Bel and Bol were both lovingly adopted and live with Ma Monkey and Pa Monkey who bestow all kinds of affection on Bel and Bol and as such, are sadly, the unwitting slaves of these two Doggies. These are their conversations....
Bel: (in a slight, high-pitched whine) Bol?Bol: (gruffly) What?
Bel: (in a higher-pitched whine) Bol?
Bol: (with a bark) WHAT, TWERP?
Bel: (in a subdued voice) Bol, what is the G8?
Bol: (bemused and unable to hide the shock in his voice) Where did YOU learn about the G8?
Bel: (sheepishly) I peeked into the colorful window that sits on the kitchen table when Ma Monkey was distracted (AS usual) with cleaning up a bit of fluff (NOT mine!).
Bol: (scratching himself, with a nether-regions-sniff for good measure) I think it's where big Monkeys decide the fate of little Monkeys, Doggies, Rwaonds, and even (pauses for effect) AEs.
Bel: (nonplussed, as usual) So, I guess.....we are (with effort)... Doggies?
Bol: (in a condescending tone) Yeah, genius.
Bel: (misinterpreting Bol's "genius" comment, with renewed confidence) So big Monkeys decide at the G8 where, when and how little Monkeys, Doggies, Rwaonds, and AEs will live?
Bol: (hiding his secret pride in Bel) You got it! TWERP.
Bel: Well, that's a lot of responsibility. (Then, with brilliant and unusual insight) Just like Ma Monkey and Pa Monkey!
Bol: Hmmm... Not quite like that. Ma and Pa Monkey would never pretend to be sick like Bush Monkey was at the G8 when it came time to look after all of us. Why, I remember one time Pa Monkey walked us in a snow storm, at night, IN HIS SLEEP! (with gusto) Furthermore, like the other G8 big Monkeys, Ma and Pa Monkey would never promise to take to us to the Doggie Fun Place and then (dripping disgust) break that promise!
Bel: (sotto voce) Bol, I'm scared.
Bol: Don't be silly!
Bel: (insistent) No, I'm really scared.
Bol: (with a nip on Bel's ear) Come, let's play. (running off to grab one of their numerous fluffy, inert victims) Last one to kill the pheasant is a LOSER!!!
(Bel and Bol start tearing around the house while Bono croons softly on the radio "who's willing to try, to save a world, that's destined to, die" from his cover of Marvin Gaye's "Save the Children")
THE END
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